For the upcoming year | Wander

It has been a long time since I posted the last post on my blog, even though I was always making plans about what I wanted to do. I indulged in laziness.

But now, hello 2026, I’m back!

Sometimes, I felt overwhelmed by relationships, by uncertainties that kept appearing and confusing me, and by the many goals I already set for myself. I thought those tasks were simply higher than what I was capable of at that moment in life while I cannot pass my current struggling. Eventually, this routine led me to a dead end.

I read.

I “worked”.

I listened to old songs.

I tried.

I lived.

…

One day, I realized something wasn’t right. I seemed to be constantly busy and exhausted, yet not much was actually completed. I read more. I frantically searched for solutions. But the more information I consumed, the more pressure I felt. There was too much information – news, laws, changes, marketing posts, trends, AI-generated content – endlessly available on the Internet. Reading, consuming, and filtering all of it drained my time and energy, leaving me more tired than I was before.

So I chose to pause to step away from my routine for a while and look at where I was. Just hope to find a real solution instead of staying in a puzzled situation.

THE CURRENT ISSUES OF DELAYING

The worst thing I experienced was what I can call the “Productivity paradox”. This happened when I was always busy working on the computer or mobile phone, replying to messages, being available on social platforms, and solving small issues… but nothing in my plan was getting done consistently. I often lose my sense of direction because of I was struggle among too many details in an article, of being curious about something or someone unrelated to my work. When searching for information that turns out to be useless with my progress, I drained my time and the consequence only made me feel more depressed. This is an absolutely vicious circle.

Moreover, with some tasks, after spending a long time reading and practicing, I started with a few works with full of inspiration and enthusiasm. But later, each new product took longer time to complete and moves forward sluggishly. Everything feels stuck until I start something new again. Actually, I know stable success cannot be built in a short time. When I watched a great movie or listened to a wonderful piece of music, then I found information about the artist, I could see that they often have been working for years quietly.

I can understand that I need to create the work first, and only then will the audience come. But I’m afraid of producing work that feels like trash and wasting reader’s and audience’s time. These two lines of thought keep fighting each other, leaving me stuck in the same place for too long.

UPGRADING PLAN

When AI tools started becoming popular, I tried many of them for testing in writing, creating photos, generating video and music. I just used those tools to support my current work. I spent lots of money and time testing different AI-generated apps. But after app. 6 months, I felt like I was running out of creative energy and using AI tools much no longer suitable for my creative process. I was not stuck in using AI tools, but I cannot write anything as easily as I did before. I had an idea, I could draw how that idea was developed in my writing, but I couldn’t write a completed work. Even when I could do it, I had to spend more time and my final work is rigid and bland.

I don’t neglect the effects and benefits of AI-generate tools. They can support my work, they will help me to save time, but I want to protect and nurture my creativity as well as my inner world. Life is short, I want to keep my enthusiasm to enjoy the beauty of even the smallest things around me. I don’t want to become a rigid, boring and clichéd person.

So, the first thing I did was to write this piece of blog by myself completely, without any AI tools’ support. It’s only a few hundred words but it took me half of a day to finish. I felt slightly dizzy with this speed. Then I realized this is exactly the moment I need to look back myself and start upgrading from the insides.

This time, I will not make any big plan or imagine the results, I just focus on controlling myself, my emotions, go ahead step-by-step with revision carefully. Hope something or some info from this progress or something I learn along the way, will be useful to you, too.

J

2025 Dec 25

#bestrong #upgrading #my2026